Yuuko's Challenge!
by Tsukishiro-chan
Summary: Yuuko invites all of our favourite CLAMP-boys over for... Couple's Counselling? What has she gotten herself into? And can she, Tomoyo, Hokuto and Fujitaka sort out those troublesome boys and help them all realise their true feelings? I hope so! Enjoy !
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, so this is the first part of my challenge to myself. Can Yuuko fit of the CLAMP lovely boys into her house? Let's see how it goes. I really hope someone out there enjoys this, it's a wonder to write. I am giving myself a bit of poetic license, so bear with me as I change storylines and future plots to fit my own perfect CLAMPworld. Please let me know what you think, and do remind me if I've forgotten a crucial couple. I have left one out for the meantime though, gotta save something up for later. See if you can guess who? Any ideas or theories you may have please let me know! Enjoy the story~!_

_(CLAMP owns all the characters, but not their actions! 3)_

_++++CLAMP++++_

"Take these to the old post box near the park~!" Yuuko imperiously told Watanuki as she simultaneously shoved the letters at him and took a swig of her cooling beer. Watanuki frowned as Yuuko passed him a wad of envelopes, all addressed and stamped.  
>"Why that post box? That's like 30 minutes away and have you noticed how freaking hot it is? This is crazy!" He shouted as he grabbed the bundle and headed towards the door. He knew by now that questioning Yuuko's wishes came to no good, but complaining always made him feel better about the tasks he was given.<br>Grumbling he slipped his shoes on and glared at Yuuko as she again swigged her beer. She has not bothered to answer Watanuki's question, she knew he knew it was important. She waited until he was about to shut the door to say: "Doumeki will be meeting you at the corner~!" She smiled at the answering scream and lent against the doorframe. This was going to be a good week for her, and maybe even a good one for Watanuki.  
>But probably not.<p>

Doumeki calmly slipped the letter he was reading into his back pocket as he heard Watanuki approach. His usual grumblings and protestations eventually got louder until they escalated at the sight of Doumeki himself. Doumeki stoically undertook Watanuki's abuse and began walking towards the park, the oppressive heat seeming to have no effect on his attitude. "You'll only make yourself hot doing that." He commented to Watanuki as the other boy waved his arms about in rage. This, of course, only caused more abuse, but it did help the time to pass very quickly, and in no time the pair were standing in front of a surprisingly old post box. Grumbling, as per usual, Watanuki unceremoniously shoved the bundle into the slot and sighed. "Well, that was pleasantly un-magical." He commented. Just as the box shuddered and disappeared into time-space. Doumeki blinked, then turned around and made for home.  
>"WHAT? You're not even going to question that? It just disappeared! How can you just walk away from that? Hey! Come back here you bastard! Don't just leave me there! I could be sucked into it too! Is that what you want?" Ranted Watanuki as Doumeki made his way to the juice stand in the park. He stood there until Watanuki reached him, then asked for him to buy him a juice, much to the fury of his unstable companion.<p>

Back at the shop, Yuuko was busy making preparations for next week's excitement. Or, rather, preparing a list of preparations for Watanuki to set up for her. She smiled slyly at Mokona as she wrote her list in her flowing cursive script; she simply could not contain her joy at the scheme she had prepared for her own entertainment! So eager was she to celebrate that, as soon as he got home, she asked Watanuki to prepare her favourite umeshu and snacks and bring them to her out on the verandah.  
>After complaining about Yuuko's greed and her disregard for his weariness, Watanuki looked at the list she had prepared for him. After almost going into cardiac arrest at the length, he just about fainted at some of the things actually written on it. Lost for words, all he could do was shoot a glare at Yuuko, tighten his apron strings and get to work.<p>

To start with, he prepared every room in the shop for guests, each room with a double futon and two towels. He opened all the windows to let in the air. He swept and polished. He prepared the bathrooms for many people, new soap and other washing tools, including some he'd never seen in the bathroom before but looked a little suspicious.  
>After this, a room he'd never been in before was set up with a huge dining table, which he then proceeded to set with beautiful silverware. Two rooms on opposite sides of the house were set up as comfortable sitting rooms. One sumptuous and soft, with cushions to fluff and low tables to dust. The other room was set in heavy couches and deep wing-backed chairs, dark wood side-tables and an extensive drinks cabinet. Watanuki could only guess as to what was happening, but he hoped that he would not be expected to wait on all the people Yuuko planned to host.<p>

A few days after the posting of the letters, Yuuko's mailbox was full of its own letters. Watanuki collected them and presented them to a reclining Yuuko, who delightedly pronounced them RSVPs. She was extremely pleased to see that all of her invitees were attending. Watanuki shook his head in confusion and went back to carefully padlocking all or Yuuko's important rooms so no intruder could stumble across anything terribly valuable.

The day before the gathering Watanuki was ordered to bring in flowers and fresh supplies. Yuuko was surprisingly active and often popped out of nowhere to comment on Watanuki's work, much to his annoyance, as well as parading up and down the halls in various different outfits, trying to find the perfect one for the next day. Maru and Moro followed her up and down, repeating all her comments. Watanuki was fit to explode, if it weren't for the fact that Yuuko had promised him the next few days off.

Yuuko lay back on her couch, a ring of cushions spread out in front of her. She casually puffed her pipe as Watanuki lay out things for tea. Breathing a cloud of smoke towards him, she calmly told Watanuki that their first guests had arrived. Before he had even reached the door Watanuki could hear bickering. Opening the door he revealed two people he actually knew, Kurogane and Fai. The latter grinned down at Watanuki and waved his arms about in excitement to see Yuuko, while Kurogane stood back and looked sullen. Both were shown in and were seated, Yuuko perked up and made delightful conversation, to the joy of Fai and the annoyance of Kurgs.

No sooner had Watanuki poured them tea there came a loud commotion from the front yard, which Yuuko sent Watanuki to investigate. He opened the door to a short un-evenly haired boy shouting obscenities at a tall and heavy set young man as an even taller and darker man in sunglasses laughed with a blonde androgynous figure with glasses in his arms. The scene surprised Watanuki, and he vaguely recognized the short yell-y boy of the group. They all looked a little suspicious, but Watanuki led them through to where Yuuko greeted them warmly, with a little of her sly smile tucked into her face. They were seated and given tea, all looked comfortable, although the boy with the weird hair seemed a bit angry to be there. They introduced themselves as Kazahaya, Rikuo, Saiga and Kakei

Next there was a polite knock and when Watanuki answered it he was met by yet another tall dark man, with an ethereally beautiful, floating person with him. As well as a couple of androgynous people. Quickly introducing themselves as Shuichiro, Kohaku, Hisui and Kokuyo, the group hurried ahead to meet Yuuko, three of them mysteriously hovering. Watanuki shook his head and followed them through to Yuuko, where he poured tea and felt terribly confused.

There was yet another announcement of guests, and Watanuki dashed to the door to find a military-dressed man accompanied by a young teenage boy. Introducing themselves as Gingestu and Ran they made their way inside, looking about in amazement at Yuuko's house.

The room was quite crowded now, and Watanuki thought that they must have been the end of the guests, but there was yet another announcement of someone at the door. Unsurprisingly there was another tall dark male, this time accompanied by a light-haired young man with large glasses. Both very politely thanked Watanuki, announced their names as Yukito and Touya, and entered Yuuko's chamber to be seated with everyone else. Yuuko frowned as she looked around the room, there were still six empty cushions, but it was high time that everyone found out what was going on here. Sitting up in her butterfly inspired kimono Yuuko addressed the gathering.

"We have gathered here today," she began, "to have some excellent fun, as well as to really get to know each other, intimately…" she ominously finished. A couple of the men cheered, but most shuffled uncomfortably on their cushions. "Oh all right, I'll come clean! You're really here for-"  
>There was a bang as four black-haired young men burst into the room, the shortest two appeared to be being chased by the taller two. The young man wearing gloves bowed politely and apologized profusely and quickly sat, quickly followed by the tallest man with an eye patch. The youngest of the group stared angrily about the room, looking as if about to burst into tears. Kindly, Watanuki guided him to a cushion and carefully watched as the last man took off his orange glasses and sat down. Yuuko simply smiled and motioned for Watanuki to pour them tea, casually introducing them to the group as Subaru, Seishiro, Kamui and Kamui, though; there was an agreement to call the taller Kamui Fuuma for now.<p>

"Couples Counseling!" Yuuko announced with vigor as she rose to her full height. The room erupted with protests from the closeted 'CLAMP friends', while the canonized and aware couples chuckled characteristically into their hands. There were a couple of freak-outs. Kazahaya Kudo, for example, rose to his feet and began verbally abusing the party he had arrived with, with vulgar language and many rude gestures. Watanuki also had a brief rage when he realized Doumeki had been standing near him the entire time, and was egged on by Doumeki's stoic: "Guess she's dragged us into this too."

Once the crowd had settled, Yuuko made another announcement. "This is going to be a big job, and I can't possibly do it alone, so I have invited a guest counselor to help me out. Everyone please welcome: Tomoyo Daidouji, Hokuto Sumeragi and Fujitaka Kinomoto!" A beautiful young with long, dark hair, a vibrantly dressed young women with short black hair and a tall middle-aged man with glasses all entered the room. The one who introduced herself as Tomoyo had a hand-held video camera. Raising her hand to her cheek her face flushed with pleasure. "It's such an honor to be doing this; I can't wait to get started. Though, I would like to inform you that I have installed cameras in most rooms of the house, for… observations." Tomoyo smiled brightly and lowered herself next to Yuuko, her camera eagerly sweeping the room, capturing the images of all the beautiful and handsome boys/angels in the room. Next, Hokuto introduced herself, jumping about in excitement. "I can't wait to get started! It's finally time for Sei-chan and Subaru to realize their feelings! And hopefully everyone else too!" She sat on the floor in front of Yuuko, bouncing a little as some young men in the room gave yells of outrage and embarrassment. The boy called Kazahaya made an attempt at opening the door to run away, but Yuuko jump smiled and asked for him to resume his seat. After a moments panic, Fujimoto introduced himself calmly and kindly. "I am here to help you all become happy, and I hope that we can all become good friends." He said sweetly as he took a seat in a chair no one had noticed before. The newly formed team grinned happily out over the ocean of men. "We will be taking this one couple at a time, in order of relationship chaos levels. So please, enjoy your stay here!" Yuuko said as the crowd in front of her stared, some horrified, others confused, very few pleased.

After the hubbub of these exciting pieces of information died down, Maru and Moro entered with large bottles of celebratory sake, much the joy of pretty much everyone in the room. Except the under-agers and the little angel Kohaku.

There was some unwillingness as the couples were shown to their rooms, but most of them were slightly drunk from the party Yuuko had thrown, and the only outright refusals (Watanuki and Kazahaya) were soon put to an end by the stronger and more aware counterpart.

Tomoyo manned her station in a special room set up for her secret cameras, carefully watching the wall of screens she made notes. Occasionally her hand hovered over the warning button, for whenever something inappropriate was going on, but most of the time she just enjoyed her viewing.

Hokuto spent some time in her room, designing outfits for the prettiest of the boys and also reading up on some of her couples. She also did some research online; visiting many interesting sites which she believed would help her in her quest to set up Sei-chan and Subaru.

Fujitaka inspected the kitchen, carefully noting what was where so he could cook foods appropriate to each couple and help them through their problems with food made with love. He briefly entered Tomoyo's video room, to check on his son, but Tomoyo had turned off that screen for some reason. Shrugging, he returned to his room and looked at photos of his wife and daughter, both whom he would miss during his stay at Yuuko's.

Yuuko drank as she sat on the verandah with Mokona. She mused over the complicated and enjoyable task she had given herself, and wondered whether Clow would be watching to see how things turned out.

_++++CLAMP++++_

_Please let me know. It's a big project and I really hope someone wants to enjoy it with me! Did you work out who's late?  
>What do you think of my counsellors? I thought Tomoyo was essential! Hope I'm doing CLAMP's characters justice, and I hope to resolve a few of those pesky issues between our favourite couples~! <em>

_Thankyou for reading~! 3  
>Tsukishiro-chan<em>


	2. Seishiro and Subaru X1999

_Okay, no reviews yet but I'm in the mood for writing this story. I'm afraid I amy have gotten a little carried away with my freedom over the characters, but it's what I want to happen, so I can make it! I hope I don't terribly offend people with my storyline. But, then again, there are many offending storylines out there. Like the end to xxxHOLiC. :O  
>I know, I said it. SO, I'm dealing with the real sad sack cases first, so we all know what kind of a mood I'm aiming for. First up is the tragic pair of Subaru and Seishiro. We know they love each over, just fate gets in the way. Right? And don't ask how Hokuto's there, I'll explain later. These guys are from X1999 by the way, not Tokyo Babylon. I had to go that extra step eh?_

_++++CLAMP++++_

"So, essentially, you have to kill Subaru?" Yuuko asked, taking a long draw from her pipe. Seishiro nodded a creepy smile on his face. Subaru looked at the floor and said nothing. Tomoyo and Fujitaka observed the body language of the two. Hokuto had been asked to stay out of this one, to avoid confusion. "But you know that Subaru loves you." Yuuko added, puffing smoke across the table. "I mean, you killed his sister all ready, surely you've hurt him enough." Subaru blinked back tears and stared up at Seishiro. Hiding his eyes, Seishiro looked away. Fujimoto stepped in. "It looks to me like Seishiro needs to apologize to Subaru-kun for killing his sister, maybe that's the first step to take before dealing with the need to kill?" He asked gently as he put his hand on Subaru's shoulder. The younger boy looked up gratefully into the older man's eyes and waited for Seishiro to look at him again.

It took him a while to sort things out in his head. What the Fujitaka man had said was ridiculous. Apologize? What for? Seishiro struggled to get his mind around the concept. He felt Subaru's eyes boring into him, looking for anything resembling emotion. He felt he could almost feel the desperation of him, but not the desperation of someone about to lose something, like a life, but the desperation of someone looking for something valuable. Fujitaka cleared his throat, coughing into his hand a little.

"Seishiro-san, if you would just say sorry to Subaru-kun, I think we could all feel better." Fujitaka said softly, placing his hand on Seishiro's shoulder this time. Tomoyo zoomed her camera in on Seishiro's face as he looked at Fujimoto. Yuuko watched; fingers steepled and deep in thought. "Perhaps you had better consider the consequences of not apologizing to Subaru." She said quietly. "Remember, you are not here for you, but you are here for each other." She continued. At hearing this, Tomoyo gave a little cry of joy. "Oh Yuuko-san, that was wonderful! What a wonderful thing to say! And I caught it on tape. Seishiro-san, I hope you can listen to Yuuko's wonderful words!"

Turning to Subaru, Seishiro looked into the pleading face of the younger boy. Subaru looked close to tears. Looking hard at Subaru, not letting any emotion get into his face or voice he said: "I liked your hair better with the bangs. It's too short now." Silence hung in the air for a moment, except for the whirring of Tomoyo's zoom, there was no sound. Then, Subaru launched himself at Seishiro, capturing him in a tight hug. Fujitaka's eyes welled with tears as Subaru cried with joy into Seishiro's chest, and Seishiro smiled with feeling for the first time in many years.

"That's just as good as any apology Seishiro-san! Thankyou!" Subaru managed to get those few words out before beginning to cry anew. The pain of losing his sister was still present, but a hole had been filled in his heart.

"And Subaru, I'm sorry about your sister." Seishiro continued as he stroked Subaru's ebony hair. At this point, Tomoyo started weeping with joy and Yuuko smiled smugly, glad to have beaten fate for once.

Seishiro wasn't quite sure as to what had changed within him. But now, when he looked at Subaru, he no longer saw the stars on his hands, or the life that was his to take. No longer was his desire to kill present, instead, the desire to protect overcame his being as he held Subaru tightly, soothing the younger boy's tears.

Fujitaka ushered both Yuuko and Tomoyo out of the room, before things could get too heated or embarrassing for them all. Watanuki was passing through the hallway as the group went past, the smug smile on Yuuko's face scaring him more than anything had before.

Meanwhile, as soon as the counselors had left the room, Seishiro and Subaru had been talking. Occasionally kissing. It was new to both of them. And right in the middle of a kiss that was just starting to heat up, Hokuto burst into the room, shouting congratulations and jumping cheerfully around the room. For once, Subaru joined her. It was a little weird, since Hokuto was somehow alive and much younger than him, but h didn't really mind, and now that Seishiro had apologized, he was sure she wouldn't get killed again. It confused Hokuto a little as to why her twin brother was so much older than her, but Yuuko has said something about space and time stuff, so she cast it aside and continued jumping around. She kissed Seishiro joyfully on the cheek and started yelling about weddings. Subaru blushed, just like old times, and Seishiro laughed, commenting on how Subaru should make him an honest man. Subaru blushed again, though this time not entirely in embarrassment, but a little in anticipation too. He'd wished for Seishiro most of his life, and now he finally had him. Happily, he jumped into Seishiro's arms and Hokuto almost fainted with joy. Seishiro planted a kiss on Subaru's lips and Hokuto hastily left the room. Only to end up in Tomoyo's video room, where they both eagerly watched the proceedings onscreen. Soon, they were joined by Yuuko, who smiled smugly and turned the volume up.

After about twenty minutes, Fujitaka found the drooling trio and carefully ushered them out of the room, but not before having a quick peek at Touya's room. Without hesitation, Fujitaka quickly pushed the warning button and hurried out of the room, making sure the trio had not gone to get a close up view of what they had been watching on screen.

In Touya and Yukito's room, a small alarm went off and a voice that sounded suspiciously like Yuuko's said: "Now now boys, nothing too naughty okay?" Touya and Yukito glanced at each with confusion, put their shirts back and slowly exited the room, fear in their eyes.

_++++CLAMP++++_

_Gotta love Fujitaka. He's such a fatherly man. Man, this story is turning into a little bit of a funfest. I hope I'm not getting carried away. Especially in the next chapter. I hope no one gets annoyed at my exuberance. :)_

_And, Tomoyo is a bit of a perv right? And Hokuto would be too, even though it's her bro. As for Yuuko, she'd probably watch anything and not break a sweat. Lucky morally correct Fujitaka is there to sort things out! _

_Oh, and sorry this was a bit short, the next chapter is heaps long, with lots of characters, not just a couple. _

_Lovin' it 3_


	3. Kamui and Fuuma X1999

_Okay, now the bit concerning Kamui and Fuuma is relatively short, but bear with me, as I believed the solution to their relationship issue was simple, so I added some extra-ness to satisfy my need for CLAMP-stuff.  
>I hope it's not too sickeningly sweet, but I enjoyed it. I hope someone's reading this :) Maybe I put it in too obscure of a spot. :( Oh well. Someone will find it! :D<br>Hope you like it!_

_++++CLAMP++++_

"Now, this is going to be tricky you two. Considering that, at the moment, you are the same person, essentially. So, what I'm going to do is a little bit of magic." Yuuko said to the two boys in front of her. Kamui looked expectantly at the witch, and fearfully at his counterpart, who smiled cruelly down at him. Yuuko knew there was no point in trying to reason with the homicidal, murderous and very unbalanced Kamui in front of her, and there was no joy in setting someone up with themselves. Hokuto watched eagerly as Yuuko handed the taller Kamui a glass of what appeared to be water. Without even a hint of suspicion, he downed it and collapsed onto the floor. Tomoyo caught it all on her camera and smiled gleefully when Kamui dove onto the floor to cradle the other's head. Yuuko clapped her hands and Fuuma woke up. He looked up into the sad eyes of Kamui, who wept to see Fuuma restored to him. Hokuto helped them both back to their seats as they stared at each other. Tomoyo zoomed in as the two wept for those they had lost. Yuuko smiled. No one was quite sure why, until the two boys leapt passionately onto each other. Tomoyo blushed, but failed to stop filming, and Hokuto cheered them on gleefully. After a moment, the boys stopped, much to Hokuto and Tomoyo's displeasure.

"Fuuma, you are all Kamui has left, and I fear he is all you have left as well. I hope you can be good friends. And don't try to kill each other again." Yuuko said forcefully, emphasizing the 'good friends' part, and left the room with Tomoyo and Hokuto in tow. Kamui and Fuuma looked at each other, and, once again overcome with emotion, fell on each other like ravenous wolves. In a good way.

In the video room, Fujitaka watched, pink-cheeked, as Kamui and Fuuma 'got along'. Without pressing the warning button, he left the room. Heading towards the common room, he decided to check on how Seishiro and Subaru were getting along. He popped his head in and asked how they were, both cheerfully replied and waved as they continued their card game with Touya and Yukito. Both looked happy and were interacting normally with each other. Fujitaka smiled at his son and left the room, then headed towards the counseling room to warn Kamui and Fuuma of the consequences of their actions. He knew that Tomoyo would keep the tapes that were made here, but he wasn't sure what she could use them for.

Yuuko burst into the common room, where most of her guests were, and laughed. Watanuki, who had been losing his cool at another guest, Rikuo, stopped mid-rant to stare at Yuuko. His instincts told him to run, which he did. Until Doumeki grabbed him at the doorway. The men in the room all looked pretty scared too. Except Fai and Yukito. And, for some reason, the demon Kokuyo joined Yuuko's laughter, adding to the scariness she exuded.

Then the sake was served and everyone, except the minors and the angel Kohaku, got drunk and forgot about the scariness. Seishiro and Subaru made out in the corner, much to Hokuto's joy and everyone had a pretty good time. Except Watanuki and Kazahaya, who sat fearfully with their backs to the wall, while Rikuo and Doumeki watched with much entertainment.

After a while, Yuuko got up, staggering a little due to drunkenness. She waved her arm at Watanuki, who reluctantly supported her on her way to the verandah. She lit her pipe and watched the yard through slitted eyes. Seishiro and Subaru joined her, both with cigarette in hand, Gingetsu not far behind. Watanuki choked on the smoke a little, and started to head back inside. Suddenly there was a loud crash and two people were suddenly standing in the middle of Yuuko's yard.

"The last guests have arrived!" Yuuko sang as she threw down her pipe and ran across the lawn. She grabbed the shorter of the couple's hands and danced in a circle. The four males on the verandah watched in amazement at Yuuko's behavior. Dragging the couple behind her Yuuko introduced them to the smokers at Ashura and Yasha, then hurled them inside and proceeded to chastise them for being late. Watanuki almost laughed at her crazy attitude, but he knew it could change at any second, so instead he went to find his newly found friend Kazahaya, so they could laugh about it together.

Meanwhile, Mokona giggled as the two angels cuddled him enthusiastically. Hisui kept comparing him to the Ushagi that came from heaven, and Kohaku played with Mokona's ears. Both admired the little earring he had and compared it with their own. Kokuyo watched with distaste the display of cuteness before him, and Shuichiro looked around the room, choosing not to acknowledge the totally disarming cuteness before him. Already the scene had captured Fai, who leapt across the room to join in the fun, tickling Mokona and smiling with the angels. Kurogane watched with a scowl. How embarrassing. Soon enough, Yukito noticed something was going and curiously poked his nose in. Mokona jumped up to hug his face and knocked his glasses askew. Laughing, Yukito began to tickle the little Mokona, making everyone crowded around it laugh too. Touya shook his head at the giggling mass of pretty growing before him, and began talking to Shuichiro about motorbikes. Watanuki and Kazahaya were both giggling away at something in the corner and Ran was too busy reading a book to notice the ever-increasing amount of cute growing in the room.

Entering with stealth and silence, Tomoyo lifted her camera and captured the unknown phenomena before her. The blonde heads bobbed along with the silver and the little black Mokona hopped for body to body, tickling and laughing. Kurogane's eyebrow twitched as the laughter grew louder, and the voice of the Mokona increased in volume. Gingetsu re-entered the room, stared passively at the group of pretty boys on the floor, and quietly removed Ran from the impact zone. Rikuo, who had been exploring the house, stuck his head around the door, saw the expressions on some of the faces, and grabbed Kazahaya, who protested loudly, but eventually came. Doumeki however, simply sat next to Watanuki and watched, must to Watanuki's displeasure. Seishiro and Subaru came back inside; both grabbed their drinks and hastily retired to their shared room. Tomoyo almost returned to her video room at that point, but decided to stick with the bishies. Yuuko guided Ashura and Yasha into the room. Upon seeing Mokona, Ashura jumped into the beautiful group and burst out laughing. At this, Fai, Hisui, Kohaku and Yukito all began to tickle little Ashura, who let out cries of joy and everyone laughed. There were twinkles in eyes and smiles on faces, and everything was so nice until.

"WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Silence. The group of pretties glanced around, looking for the source. It wasn't Touya of Shuichiro, nor was it Yasha. All eyes turned to Kokuyo and Kurogane. One was calm, the other was bright red with anger and looked like he was about to snap.

"Kuro-puu! No need to be so rough with your words~!" Fai exclaimed happily as he let his arms falls around the enraged Kurogane. Breathing heavily, Kurogane tried not to explode as Fai wriggled around, around to find a way onto his lap. The blonde sighed happily when he eventually found himself there and looked up at Kurogane's angry face. "No need to get so jealous Kuro-pon." He teased. "You know you're the only one for me!"

Again, silence. No one moved. Then, Kokuyo smirked.

With a flash, Yasha had grabbed Ashura and dived behind a couch. Doumeki grabbed Watanuki and made a break for the door. Touya quickly lifted Yukito up off of the floor and behind a wing-backed chair and Shuichiro protected chibi-Kohaku in his arms. Hisui shook his head as Kurogane and Kokuyo got into a fist fight, obscenities flying and Fai happily hanging with his arms around Kurogane's neck, like a cape.

Yuuko watched from the doorway with pleasure. Tomoyo caught it all on tape and Hokuto did her best to cheer them on as Fujitaka did his best to calm them down.

Watanuki and Kazahaya cursed as they tidied up the destroyed room the next day. Yuuko mused that she would have to start taking precautions. Tomoyo watched, eyes glazed, in her video room. Two happy couples made her happy too. Hokuto planned dates and outing for Sei-chan and Subaru. Now that her dream was realized, she had to find new ways to occupy her time. She also wondered whether or not she would die now, and how things would work out now that fate had been interrupted. Fujimoto spent some time in Yuuko's treasure room, he had offered to do some inventory for her, but now he regretted the gesture, there was so much stuff. And he thought he was lost. And the creepy picture of the cat in the kimono was watching him, he felt sure of it.

Fai gently stroked Kurogane's hair as the large man slept. He smiled as the big man mumbled in his sleep, something about a white manju. Turning away, he went to sleep himself, much to Tomoyo's dismay.

Watanuki blocked his ears as some inappropriate sounds filtered through from the room next to his. Doumeki chuckled and slid into bed next to the grumpy boy. Commenting that even angels and demons get more action than him he lay down and went to sleep. Enraged at the insinuation, Watanuki pounded Doumeki, with his fist, through the blanket, cursing his name. There was a knock on the wall behind him. "Hey, keep it down lovebirds." Came the muffled voice of Rikuo. Watanuki cursed again, and soon, twin curses came from both sides of the wall, Kazahaya squealing in outrage as Rikuo teased him about his chosen sleepwear.

Woken from his slumber, dark Ashura stuck his head into the two boys' rooms and told them to: _"Be quiet or I'll kill you."_

At last, silence.

And no one had seen Kamui or Fuuma all afternoon.

_++++CLAMP++++_

_Mmm, Dark Ashura. Can't you just imagine that dripping text and the terrified expressions of Watanuki and Kazahaya? :3 And I love the image of all those bishies laughing with Mokona, it's so adorable~! Kyaa~! Such a fangirl. Oh, and the room next to Watanuki's is Hisui and Kokuyo's, the one on the other side is Rikuo and Kazahaya. Mmm, so many lovely boy couples. 333  
>So, solution to Kamui and Fuuma, done, too easy. Who's next? I'm having trouble deciding. Give me a clue someone?<em>

_Tsukishiro-chan 3  
><em>


	4. Group Therapy

I'm pretty happy with this chapter. I was inspired as well as motivated by the lovely reviews I got, I'm so glad that other's can enjoy it the way I do. This should please as it ends with a little KuroFai, but I will do a chapter dedicated to them, fear not. :) Enjoy~!

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Kurogane sat, crossed arms and crossed legs, at the edge of the group, and glared at the blonde magician who frolicked at the front of the room. The session was marked on the timetable as 'group therapy' but so far it had only established that Fai could, in fact, sing, dance and make fun of Kurogane simultaneously. Yuuko kept a close eye of Kurogane's expression as Fai lured Kamui and Subaru into demonstrating one of the many ways in which Kurogane had been embarrassed. Just as his eye twitched violently and the vein in his forehead looked about to burst, Yuuko rose, clapping her hands and calling for attention. Noticing that many who had not been asked to attend the group therapy had snuck in to watch Fai dance; she quickly named, shamed and sent them away. Hokuto appeared at the door and ushered the non-participants to the parlor, where much alcohol was imbibed and Hokuto held a fashion show.

Yuuko grinned demonically as Fujitaka slid the door closed and Tomoyo set two more cameras up for recording. Those left in the room were Kurogane, Fai, Watanuki, Doumeki, Rikuo, Kazahaya, Yukito and Touya. The last pair sat comfortably at the front of the room where Yuuko stood, the others, rather uncomfortably, Fai the only exception, all sat uneasily in their semi-circle. Clearing her throat imperiously, all eyes glued themselves to Yuuko's face. "Today, in this session of group therapy, we will be doing some simple role play. "There was silence, apart from the slight bouncing of Fai's feet on the floor. Touya smirked and Yuuko continued. "We will be addressing the problem of all of the confession, which most of you seem to be struggling with." Touya and Yuki turned to each other and patted the other's knee, smiling knowingly. Watanuki and Kazahaya sat in confused silence, Rikuo and Doumeki smirked as one and Kurogane's eye twitched as Fai leapt from his seat and started shouting, "I confess! I confess!" Tomoyo giggled behind her hand as Fujitaka shook his head and rubbed his head. Yuuko grinned toothily. "By confession I mean a confession of love." A millisecond of silence lasted before Kazahaya, Watanuki and Kurogane started shouting profanities. Rikuo and Fai grinned and Doumeki sat stoically, following the lead of Touya, who stoically watched Yuki giggle. Tomoyo darted around the room, capturing all images of mayhem and Fujitaka attempted to stop Kazahaya from physically attacking Rikuo by waving his hands and smiling. Watanuki directed death threats to both Doumeki and Yuuko, while Kurogane thrashed about, yelling at Yuuko and trying to pry Fai off of him, as he had latched himself onto his shoulders, again.

Yuuko enjoyed the scene, as did many other members of the household as they crowded into the secret video room. Kohaku, Hisui and Subaru excused themselves as they blushed from the variety of curse words, Gingetsu and Yasha quickly ushered Ran and Ashura from the room, and were closely followed by Fuuma and Kamui, who had lost interest and were going to go make out. The fighting eventually went on for so long that Shuichiro left, followed by Seishiro who planned to go make out with Subaru, leaving only a curious demon and Hokuto, who was beginning to feel left out.

Eventually Yuuko tired of the rambunctious antics of the room and nodded to Tomoyo, who proceeded to flick the lights on and off, and Fujitaka followed her head by spraying Kazahaya and Watanuki lightly with a water bottle. Finally, all were seated, though Watanuki glared openly at Doumeki, and Kazahaya sat defensively in a corner, looking every inch a cat. Kurogane resembled a bomb about to explode, much to Fai's glee. Yuuko spoke for a time, about the importance of realizing one's feelings and helping those feelings come out. Touya snickered at the 'coming out' bit, as did Rikuo and Doumeki. However, Kurogane had retreated deep inside of himself, no longer in the room, but in a distant place in his head. Yuuko had noticed this, as had Fai, but they both chose to let him enjoy his fantasy world for while.

It was, of course, time for a demonstration. Yuuko nodded towards Touya and Yukito, who rose as one and stood in front of the rest of the group. Yukito blushed a little as the innocent eyes of Kazahaya and Watanuki stared up at him, amazed and fearful of the power of confession. Touya nodded at Rikuo and Doumeki as they grinned wolfishly. Fai clapped his hands delightedly and began happily poking Kurogane in the leg. Kurogane resisted the call to waken from his daydream for a time, allowing Touya and Yukito to demonstrate the difference between an action of affection and one of normal human interaction. Kazahaya frowned in concentration as he tried to determine the difference, watching closely as Touya placed his hand on Yukito's cheek, causing him to blush brightly, and then watched as Yukito platonically patted Touya on the back. Rikuo watched Kazahaya from the corner of his eye and smirked, secretly hoping this would be a wakeup call for the youth. Watanuki glared, secretly overjoyed at the love of two lovely people, but refusing to believe that Yuuko expected him to be this way with Doumeki. Fai gave a 'hyuu' with joy every time an affectionate action was demonstrated, and sighed every time the couple stood platonically apart.

The discomfort of the room had risen to an all new high, and Touya and Yukito were getting sick of Fai's whistling. They resumed their seats and Yuuko asked for a volunteer couple. Fai's hand flew up into the air and he knelt on his chair, like a small boy in primary school. Yuuko ignored him for a while, eying Watanuki threateningly, who responded by crossing his arms and turning away, like a petulant child. Fai began thrusting his hand up and down and making small squeaky noises. Tomoyo zoomed her camera in on his excited face, and quickly panned it across to Kurogane as he slowly came to. His eyes focused on the back of the slim blonde wizard in front of him. The squeaky noises penetrated his eardrums, activating his Fai-senses. His eyes flicked to the waving hand, then to the tall witch at the front of the room, whom he noticed was giving him a predatory smile. All of a sudden he realized there was some sort of danger connecting that smile and waving hand. He pounced, taking down Fai and knocking Kazahaya into Rikuo's lap. Fai went down with a delighted yell and Kurogane tried to stifle any noise he made. He reached for his sword, which had been confiscated for this very reason. Kazahaya fought his way off of Rikuo, trying but failing to escape the clutches of the smug larger boy. Yuuko laughed heartily, thoroughly enjoying the sights before her. Fujitaka gently pulled Kurogane off of Fai, who was laughing happily, but Kurogane didn't take his eyes of off the sly enchantress. Eyes darted back and forth between the witch and the ninja, anticipating danger. Yuuko's grin widened, and she slowly motioned for Kurogane and Fai to come to the front of the room. Fai made it from the floor to Yuuko's side in one enthusiastic bound, but Kurogane remained glued to the spot, until Yuuko curled her fingers and his feet began moving on their own.

Kurogane lost it. His arms flailed wildly and his eyes bugged out of his head with rage. He shouted abuse at Fai and Yuuko; he got to the front of the room, still freaking out. Yukito giggled at the hulking ninja's spaz attack, trying not to imagine Touya doing the same. All at once Kurogane's point of attention was drawn from the witch to the giggling, silver haired young man in the front row. He opened his mouth to abuse the snowy boy for laughing at him, then Touya's defensive instincts kicked in and he laid a punch fair and square across the ninja's face, shutting his mouth before he could insult his lover. There was silence. Yukito grabbed one of Touya's arms, and Fujitaka the other. Kurogane had not moved. His jaw slowly turned red, as did Fai's face as he tried to stop himself from laughing.

The room watched the ninja's facial expression with awe and fear. Even Yuuko stepped back a little, just in case. Kurogane's face eventually lost its angry expression, slowly giving way to, could it be embarrassment? Shame? His feet unstuck from the floor and he bowed to Touya, using the gesture as an apology, then he turned to Fai, who had gone wide-eyed and serious. Tomoyo's camera whirred as she got the perfect shot of Fai and Kurogane, and she blushed a little at the possibility of what she could be filming.

Outside the therapy room, everyone had re-gathered in the video room after Hokuto had called them excitedly. Even Fuuma and Kamui crowded into the room, taking a break from their vigorous love. All watched with hands to cheeks, some blushed; the more manly members of the group respectfully turned their eyes away, but listened keenly.

Fai began to blush ever so slightly at the intense power of Kurogane's calm gaze. Kurogane took a deep breath and stepped towards the smaller wizard, putting his big ninja hand on the fair skin of Fai's cheek. The room gasped, and held its breath in anticipation. Yuuko smiled. Kurogane's mouth twitched, and then opened. "Fai, this really wasn't the way I was going to tell you, if I ever ended up telling you. But, you're the most important part of my life, and I know you see that, so…." He paused, and then removed his hand, straightened up and roared. "SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALL OF THIS CRAP?" The room applauded, as did the crowded video room, then Fai leapt onto Kurogane giggling. "You know you love it." He said as he tickled the ninja, who grabbed him and smashed through the door, carrying his mortification as well as the wizard with him to their bedroom.

Tomoyo fainted with joy, and Fujitaka fanned her lightly. Touya and Yukito looked at each other wistfully and gracefully left the room to prepare the evening meal. Kazahaya was stunned and had turned into a statue, which Rikuo took full advantage of as he teased the cat-like boy about when he was going to confess. Yuuko motioned grandly for Watanuki to approach her, which he did. Calmly, she pointed at the door, then to a toolbox in the corner, then to Doumeki. Throwing a tantrum, Watanuki gathered his tools, shouted at Doumeki and began fixing the door.

In the video room, many were weeping with joy, other were feeling warm inside. They all returned to the dining room, where they waited for their dinner and felt good. Kurogane and Fai never came for their meal.

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Ending could have been better but, I enjoyed it. I hope I get more lovely reviews, I hope you enjoy my story :) Next I think I will do maybe and Angel couple? Or probably Watanuki and Doumeki, those two are troublesome :)  
>Thankyou~!<p> 


	5. Gingetsu and Ran CLOVER

For those few Clover fans out there, I hope you enjoy this. Their fate always makes me sad, the Clover world is depressing. Luckily we have Yuuko to fix all the problems throughout the dimensions! I iwhs I knew what colour eyes Gingtsu had. Maybe they're silver?  
>Oh well :) Currently working on a KuroFai chpter, as well as stewing over a Bishie Group Therapy sesh. Very exciting stuff.<p>

Enjoy~!

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Yuuko languidly rang a small bell as she sat at her desk, reading over her notes on the different dimensions that her guests were from. A teen-aged Ran timidly entered the room with Gingetsu protectively following behind him, expression unfathomable behind his glasses. Fujitaka guided the pair to the comfortable couch in front of the dimensional witch's desk, offered them a glass of water and smiled reassuringly. Ran looked woebegone; most of his hope for the future had evaporated, though he had noticed that while at Yuuko's house he had not aged improbably. Gingetsu crossed his arms and legs and gazed across the room, pointedly not making eye-contact with his dimensional therapist.  
>Yuuko interlaced her fingers and looked sadly across at the unlikely couple. Gingetsu raised an eyebrow and the witch drew in a deep breath, she knew she really was tempting fate this time.<br>"I am aware of both of your situations, as you must know, and I wish for nothing more than for you two to be happy. Sadly, in your current states, this is an unlikely ending to your story." Yuuko said, flicking through a green file, glancing up as Fujitaka wiped a tear from his eye. "So, my solution is to remove both of the problems and render you healthy and in love."  
>In the video room Tomoyo raised her hands to her cheeks in delight as Ran grasped Gingetsu's hand, looking so very hopeful.<br>"There is a small chance that this procedure will go wrong, possibly killing you both, but really, the chance is very slim. It's just a legal requirement that I alert you." Yuuko continued as she rose from her seat and reached into a cupboard behind her, extracting two small boxes. She handed one each to the couple and Fujitaka offered the water again, reassuringly.  
>"Inside of these boxes there are cures to your cruel fates. The unfairness of your world saddens me and I hope that your recovery can brighten that dark place just a little." Yuuko murmured, moved by the power of love. Gingetsu and Ran opened the boxes to reveal a couple of four-leaf clovers, slightly glittery. Fujitaka motioned for them to put them in their mouths and wash it down with water. Ran hesitated, looking up at Gingetsu, who leaned down and kissed the dark-haired teen on the mouth. Swallowing in unison, a glazed look passed over Ran's eyes and Gingetsu clenched his fists as the magic worked. Gingetsu recovered first, raising a hand to his head as he removed his glasses, amazed at the lightness he suddenly felt, free of the kill switch implanted in his head. He clasped Ran by the shoulders as he came to, almost buzzing with life as the power of the three-leaf clover disappeared. Looking happier than ever thought possible, they hugged and Ran sobbed a little, Fujitaka blew his nose and the sound of open weeping was heard from the hallway. Hokuto burst into the room and did a dance of celebration, closely followed by the angels who blessed the couple joyfully. In another room someone popped open a bottle of champagne and everyone flowed towards the sound. As Gingetsu was about to leave the room Yuuko clasped his arm and handed him a tiny clover-shaped box. "Give this to Kazuhiko, he'll know what to do, and please work to help the clovers, it's important for your world." She said, and then dashed towards the sound of pouring alcohol. Gingetsu smiled and looked at the precious little object in his hand, hoping that all the witch promised would come true.<p>

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I enjoy an emotional Fujitaka, he's so lovely. And I really hope whatever Yuuko gave Gingetsu will help Kazuhiko. *cries*  
>Anyways, hope you enjoyed it, have a nice day :)<p> 


	6. Kurogane and Fai TRC

Goodness, two chapters in one day, how exciting! I hope you all enjoy my KuroFai, please don't burn me for not liking them the best.  
>Hope you laugh, enjoy!<p>

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The humid heat of Japan's summer was beginning to get to some of Yuuko's guests, especially Kurogane, whose mecha-arm was expanding uncomfortably in the heat. Fai was gently tending to the injuries caused to Kurogane's shoulder by the futuristic arm, much to Kurogane's embarrassment which he showed via grumbling and swearing in pain. Every time the ninja made a threat of revenge on the mage, Fai would tweak a nerve, sending waves of pain through Kurogane, which he professionally ignored by grimacing a little, accompanied by a growl, only enlarging Fai's glee.  
>Fai finished wrapping a clean bandage around the muscled shoulder of Kurogane, then clasped the ninja's flesh and blood hand in both of his slender ones, bringing it to his chest. Kurogane went to withdraw his hand in protest, opening his mouth to shout his objection at the small blonde, but the look in the mage's eyes stopped him in his tracks. A small tear had appeared in the golden, jewel-like eye and his bottom lip quivered indiscernibly, moving Kurogane more than he expected. The ninja's hand relaxed in Fai's cool grip and the mage slumped forward, his head just resting on the ninja's chest. A small sob shook his slim body and Kurogane's mind began to flail desperately for a reason to the sudden mood-swing and a possible solution, while his body remained still and silent. Tears plopped onto the dark shirt Kurogane was wearing, disappearing as they fell; Fai took a deep breath and sat up, the sorrow on his face clear and heart-rending. Kurogane forcefully restrained the urge to comfort the mage, but allowed his hand to remain captured by his pale hands.<br>"I know why you don't love me Kurogane, I know and it breaks my heart because if I took that away from you then you wouldn't be my Kuro-puu anymore." Fai whispered. Kurogane blinked in shock, he snatched his hand away from the tear-streaked magician and rose to his feet, escaping the room as quickly as he could, leaving Fai confused and ashamed.  
>Soon after Kurogane had exited, Tomoyo and Hokuto dashed into the room where Fai had been left. They began to weep as they took in the distressing sight of Fai's unhappiness, and then launched themselves on him, hugging him on the floor where they all cried together. The noise soon drew a small crowd, who worked out the issue and began murmuring with disquiet. Unknowingly, Kurogane had gained himself a bunch of unimpressed enemies.<br>Meanwhile, Kurogane had hidden himself outside in the garden, where he embraced the silence and tried to block the conversation he had just had from his memory. After a while he heard footsteps approaching him, soft and slow. He rose into a crouch in suspicion and glanced around for the source of the noise. He almost had a heart attack as Princess Tomoyo emerged from the trees, a small smile on her face. He fell to his knees before her and she placed a tender hand on his head. Her headdress clinked as she shook her head amusedly and said: "Youou, I release you from your oath to me, your loyalty is free to go to anyone to whom you think is worthy of it. I wish only for your happiness and I hope we will always be friends." And then she turned and ran across the garden, disappearing behind the house in a very un-princess-like way, leaving Kurogane stunned, sitting on the damp grass in the yard. He slowly regained his wits, attempting to make sense of the sudden freedom he felt, rising to his feet he turned to go back inside, to talk to Fai, but froze when he saw a line of tall, dark-haired men standing along the porch, all looking broody and slightly threatening. All but one slowly lowered themselves into a cross-legged sitting position, and watched as Touya Kinomoto approached the ninja. Kurogane warily watched as the tall teen's dark grey eyes bored into his red ones, and not wanting a fight, the ninja sat, where Touya soon joined him. In silence they sat for a while; seemingly sizing each other up, then Touya spoke. "You really should look after Fai you know, you've got a good thing going there. You don't have to worry about alter-egos flying off with his body, and he doesn't eat that much. You really should think about what you're doing Kurogane."  
>Kurogane almost fainted in shock. He opened his mouth to reply when a tall shadow loomed behind Touya, offered him a hand to stand up, and then took his place in front of the ninja. Kurogane felt what he supposed was fear as he realized it was Seishiro sitting across from his, grinning demonically.<br>"You're lucky Fai doesn't have reason to hate you; it's easy for you to bridge that gap between you and Fai. I mean, you didn't kill his sister, right?" Seishiro said, casually laughing at the end. Kurogane's eye twitched as he forced himself to remain seated and not run off screaming like he wanted to. Seishiro smiled again, rose to his feet and nodded companionably to Fuuma as the young man lowered himself in front of Kurogane. "I think by now you've realized this is an intervention, right Kurogane?" He asked quietly, to which Kurogane nodded and inwardly kicked himself. "You and Fai really should be happy, you don't have the fate of the world on your shoulders and you haven't tried to kill each other yet so, just go with it okay?" Fuuma patted Kurogane on the knee and walked away, soon replaced by the demon Kokuyo, with whom Kurogane had previously fought. His one good eye glared dangerously at Kurogane, who had by now given up thought of escape and was bearing his punishment tolerably well. "Are you defying anyone to be with Fai?" Kokuyo asked. Kurogane shook his head quickly, as he was now free of his attachment to Princess Tomoyo. Kokuyo's frown deepened. "Does Fai make you happy?" He uttered, in a deep voice. Kurogane thought, and then nodded curtly, a small blush spreading across his face. "And is Fai happy around you?" Kokuyo said as he played with a little bit of fire. "I guess so." Kurogane said quietly. This answer scored him a blow across the head, sparks flaring across his hair. "Well then go back inside and tell him you love him!" Kokuyo boomed as he stormed off, only to be replaced by Doumeki and Rikuo, who had got sick of waiting and decided to quicken things up a little by going in a pair. Kurogane patted his hair to make sure all of the sparks were out and looked suspiciously at the two remarkably similar teens. Rikuo began. "At least he doesn't scream at you whenever you touch him." Closely followed by Doumeki. "In fact, he often tries to touch you, so you're lucky he at least shows some interest." They looked at each other then back at Kurogane, saying in unison: "And he's not a loud-mouth ingrate. Enjoy it while you can man." Kurogane shook his head as the pair left, those two had issues. Gingetsu approached, not even bothering to sit down, he merely placed a hand on Kurogane's good shoulder and nodded solemnly. Yasha then lowered himself in front of Kurogane, his impressive amount of hair swirling around him. He got straight to the point. "Is Fai destined to kill you?" He asked seriously, not breaking his intense gaze. Kurogane furiously shook his head, intimidated by the forceful gaze of the warrior. Yasha nodded, and then rose; allowing for Shuichiro to sit down. The talented surgeon looked thoughtful for a while, not entirely sure what to say. "You won't have to feel guilty when you die, or when you meet Fai, because he doesn't live forever waiting for you." He said, which only served to confuse Kurogane and make Shuichiro feel depressed. Kurogane offered his good hand to the surgeon and they shook hands amicably. Kurogane glanced around, wondering if there was anyone else coming to lecture him. He was about to get up when a dark man wearing sunglasses slunk out of the bushes, cigarette in hand. He stood next to Kurogane conspiratorially, smoking and smirking. Kurogane glanced at the mysterious man every now and then, wondering what advice he would come out with. Eventually Saiga laughed, and then spoke. "You really can't complain about Fai liking you, I mean, he's pretty cute so I'd get right into that. Don't let your youth go to waste." He laughed as he wandered off, his very feminine looking partner Kakei waving him towards the well at the back of the house.  
>Kurogane staggered towards the house, not noticing Tomoyo quickly stuff a purple dress and a shiny head-dress suspiciously into a large trunk. He found Fai sitting near the two angels, who were playing a polite variation of snap involving Mokona cards. Kurogane staggered, relieved, towards his familiar companion, who looked up in surprise, the down in disappointment. However, the disappointment evolved into confusion when Kurogane slumped to the floor, then placed his head in the magician's lap. Their eyes met and Kurogane apologized softly before prompting falling asleep. Hisui and Kohaku smiled angelically as Fai's face relaxed into relief and his hands stroked the dark hair of his ninja. Kokuyo walked in, looking for Hisui, and even his dark face lit up at the sight of a delighted Fai and a peaceful Kurogane. Tomoyo stared up at her own face as she talked to the Princess Tomoyo, she pointed to the screen where the Kurogane and Fai could be seen and they both cried tears of happiness for the pair, which then turned into a gossip session, which then turned into an emotional coming out for the both of them. They said goodbye, then Tomoyo went to meet with Hokuto to discuss the logistics of a potential cosplay party.<br>For the first time in many nights, the house was peaceful and Yuuko was exceedingly pleased with the progress of her 'patients'.

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Tadaa~! Apologies for the last little bit, Tomoyo has serious issues right? Officially the unhappiest in love character? Let's have a competition! Hooray~!  
>Poor Tomoyo.<br>Also, apologies to Legal Drug peeps, I almost forgot that Saiga and Kakei existed in this story :S Awks.  
>I would also like to point out that I did indeed miss a crucial CLAMP friend pairing. They shall appear in the next chappie, then be kidnapped by fangirls. :D The joys of fanfiction.<p> 


	7. Fangirls Attack

Just warning you that this is utter nonsense and I shouldn't have posted it at all. Promist my next chapter will be more... everything! Also, there's a fair amount of bloodshed towards the end. You can't write CLAMP without a little okay? Try and enjoy~!

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Yuuko lept out of her bed in a single fluid motion as an alarm began to bleet an urgent signal throughout the house. A small light was flashing red, urgently and rhythmically. Yuuko's eyes widened as she realised the danger that she all of her guest were in. She hurriedly wrapped her yukata tightly around her and dashed to the common room, where most of her guests had crowded, all woken by the same alarm that was ringing through the house's new PA system.

There weren't many worried faces until Yuuko entered, but after that they all became panicked as they saw genuine distress in her sleepy face. A feminine voice raised a question, but Yuuko quickly executed an effective "Shhhh!" Somehow managing to make it an exclaimation. When silence fell over the small crowd Yuuko whispered one, terrifying word which sent shivers through the group.

"Fangirls."

Many turned and fled back to their rooms in fear, the rest were ushered out by Tomoyo, who was still in her nightcap, under which was a face filled with concern.

As the last couple disappeared silently back to the safety of their rooms, Yuuko turned to the wall at her back and pushed a huge red button, which no one had ever seemed to noticed before. She grabbed the stopwatch which Hokuto had stumbled in carrying, as per her instructions on the event of a disaster like this. Tomoyo had carefully locked all the windows on her way back from checking rooms and began to set her camera up at the front door where she had a clear view of the enormous crowd which had gathered out the front of Yuuko's house. The fence's forcefield against evil seemed to be holding them at bay, but the ferocity with which the girls tried to get in intimidated even Tomoyo's fanatic nature and Hokuto was impressed by some of the interesting outfits displayed.

Yuko's head flicked left towards the kitchen as a loud crash was heard. Fujitaka gave a small cry of alarm as two mecha-suited figures burst out of the oven where he had just a moment ago been preparing midnight snacks. She readied herself to push the stop button as a red and blue blur sped past her. She cried out their record time as they got to the door, where Tomoyo captured their high speed banter on her precious camera.

The fangirls squealed as they sighted their prey exiting the house. The two suited, obviously male, figures struck a fetching pose in front of the crowd, inciting sudden silence. But before they could cry their catchphrase, one of the many girls squealed: "It's Duklyon Defenders!" Which caused many of the other to squeal too.

There were more squeals as the red figure removed his helmet and turned to the blue.

"Hey Take-pon! They know who we are! We're famous!" He cried with much glee.

The blue figure responded by removing and throwing his helmet at his companion. "Kentarou! Who is Take-pon? My name is Takeshi!" His words managed to be heard over the noise of the fangirls, some would say that it was because of hidden microphones, but who would incite such a wrath as that of a fangirl.

The fangirl crowd was awed by this display of companionly conversation before their eyes. Many fainted and others began to speak in a language unknown to any living creature. Takeshi's eyes widened as her took in the impressive sight before him. Never in his life had he seen so many girls gathered in one spot. He saw Kentarou straighten up, after having ducked the well aimed helmet, and scowled.

Placing his hands on his hips Kentarou looked around, savouring the oppotunity to finally get outside as they had been confined to a small section of the house as guards. He grinned at the crowd of females and then at Take-pon, who was already scowling in his direction.

"Oi, Take-kichi, I haven't seen so many girls since the General held that Valentine's Day festival!" He crowed happily, throughly enjoying Takeshi's face-palm response. He had tried to repress those memories, but, as always, Kentarou was there to remind him.

Tomoyo's camera whirred as she endevoured to capture Kentarou's sad face as he tried to cheer up his friend. There was a commotion behind her, but she paid no attention, too focused on her work to realise there was a terrible event just about to happen.

Hokuto blocked the door with her slim body as a panicked Yasha held Ashura over his shoulder and demanded to get outside. Yuuko slipped into the room, now dressed in a much more suitable kimono, and enquired as to the noise inside. Ashura looked up from Yasha's shoulder as she entered and grinned evilly at her.

"_My wish is to go outside Witch, what is my price?" _He said darkly, an evil aura clouding around him. Yasha's panic grew and Hokuto drew aside, afraid of the demonic voice coming from the tiny figure in Yasha's eyes. Yuuko just shook her head and waved him outside, a glint of fear and regret in her eyes as she did so.

Tomoyo's eyes widened as she saw Yasha strumble out of the house with Ashura in his arms. She almost shouted a warning, but decided against it when she saw Ashura's face. Instead she gave the signal for the retreat of the Duklyon, but her attention had wavered too long. There were cries of glee as the pair was carried away by a group of fangirls, no doubt to be tortured into reading fanfictions about themselves and having to cosplay. The cried of fear from the pair of captured boys brought tears to Tomoyo's eyes and even Yuuko turned away in despair.

A fair sized group remained at the gate, a few daring to slip through a small hole and gaze wonderingly around. It was this distraction which allowed Ashura to approach quietly and unnoticed. There was a disconcerting growl and a cry which sounded suspiciously like 'I smell fangirl blood' and Ashura devoured them all.

The next morning shop was surrounded by an aura full of fear and shame. Ashura was asleep in his room, carefully watched over by Yasha who was attempting to clean the blood from his charge's little hands. The angels wept as Yuuko performed some purifying spells over her now blood-stained front yard. The Kokuyo lay with his head in Hisui's lap, stomach full after devouring many souls. Everyone was a little shocked, although Tomoyo was managing to take advantage of the fact that most of the couples were comforting each other in heart rending and touching scenes.

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Apologies! SOrry to let you down! I'm really just posting this to get it out of the way. It's been sitting around for a little while now and I've tried rewriting it a couple of times and I think this is as good as it got. Sorry to shock anyone with the violence with which I solved the problem, it sort of wrote itself. :S Who's next? Urrrr... Probably Rikuo and Kazahaya, just to lighten the mood a little.

Again, I apologize for the poor quality and non-existent purpose of this chapter. I'm not very clever okay? I couldn't save it okay? *weeps*


	8. Sex Education  Touya and Yukito CCS

Yaaaaay~! Finally, another chapter. I've been waiting you know. It's been a while. My apologies for my laxness, it shall probably happen again.

This is kind of the beginning of a new arc, if you get my meaning. The following chapters will be, how do you say, of this same storyline. SImply because it's late and I can't write anymore without passing out. And I want to post. I feel the need for some gratification. :D

Soanyways. I have forgotten what I've rated this, but this chapter does have the word c**k in it once and the word s*x in it quite a few times. In an amusing sentences. Not sexy ones. But you've been forewarned.

Also, I should probably say (as now is a good a time as ever) that this story will probably have quite a few spoilers for almost any CLAMP related work. My apologies for giving anything away beforehand without being awake of it. Also! I have also forgotten to partake in the usually common practice of disclaiming. (Excise me while I'm distracted by Yuki Kaijura singing in English..."Kiss me sweet, I'm sleeping in silence...' Meeeehhhhhh~~)

ANYWAY (My apologies for the low quality of the preamble. It's because I'm nearly dead.)

Sooo... The only things of CLAMP I own are the merchandise I have bought from various places around the world. I do not own any of the characters I am using. I'm not nearly that clever.

GET ON WITH IT

This one started as a group scene, but then morphed into a Touya and Yukito chapter. 3

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Yuuko watched her charges eagerly from the front of the room where she stood. All the couples were gathered in one of the shop's more micelleneous rooms, perched randomly on cushions, chairs and each other. Her eyes narrowed as she noticed some of the less comfortable couples had separated and seated themselves on opposite sides of the room. Kurogane was sulking at the back of the room, leaving Fai talking eagerly to Kohaku at the front. Watanuki was sharing sob stories and Kazahaya, not noticing that Doumeki and Rikuo were checking them out from the corner where they lurked. But her disapproving grimace soon turned into a grin as she noticed Seishiro quietly molesting Subaru in a corner and Kokuyo discreetly sniffing Hisui's hair, not bothering Gingetsu and Ran as they murmured in each others' ears. Yuki was lounging casually in Touya's lap with a contented smile while Kamui sat at the foot of Fuuma's chair, thoroughly enjoying his head being massaged. Saiga and Kakei were looking suspiciously happy as they chatted to Ashura and Yasha, who had his arms around his small charge.

Just as Seishiro's administrations were about to become not so quiet, Yuuko clapped her hands, drawing all men/ angels/ demon to attention.

"Welcome to a special group session everybody! I hope you will learn much today~!" Yuuko lilted happily. There were various groans and facepalms at this, but they were soon silenced by a sharp look from their hostess.

"Today, we are going to talk about... SEX!" Yuuko sang the last word to help convey her excitement and approval of today's topic. She had some reservations about the readiness of some of her guests, but it was an important lesson they all needed to learn. Her worries were confirmed as many men blushed brilliantly (Subaru most of all) and other shouted angrily at the pointlessness of them learning something they'd never do. (Who else could it be but Watanuki?)

"Okay! First question. Raise your hand if you have had sex with the partner who is here with you, because we don't want to here about past experiences... Yet~!" Yuuko laughed, ignoring the embarrassed silence of the gentlemen.

Hisui and Kokuyo raised their hands, Hisui smiling cheekily and Kokuyo smirking smugly about the room, waiting for a challenger. Saiga and Kakei raised their hands as well, wearing pretty much the same smug expression. It seemed that these two couples were the only ones to have done the deed, but Yuuko politely waited for any later confessions. Down the front, Fai slowly began to raise his hand, grinning impishly. There was a commotion as Kurogane swiftly shoved his way across the room, ending his journey with a tackle that flattened the hapless mage. Kurogane was bright red in the face and there was a muderous glint in his eyes as he pinned Fai's arms to his sides while the blonde giggled uncontrollably at his cheeky trick. All he really wanted was Kurogane to sit with him!

Yuuko raised her eyebrow sceptically, looking hard at Fuuma and Kamui, who both endevoured to look elsewhere. She glanced and Touya and Yukito, who had abandoned their easy embrace and now sat awkwardly side by side, not touching. Sei-chan was eyeing Subaru suggestively while the young onmyouji looked ready to boil over with embarrassment.

Meanwhile, in Tomoyo's private cinema, Fujitaka let out a sigh of relief. His son was still pure, there was still a chance for him and Yukito to get married before anything happened. He only hoped they would hold out until it was legal. Tomoyo giggled sweetly as she watched the surveillance tapes from that morning, and learned the source of Saiga and Kakei's smugness which, surprisingly, came from some... excitement... in the kitchen. Fujitaka choked as he glanced at the screen Tomoyo was looking at and saw what kind of acts had been performed on the bench where he had just prepared lunch.

Out in the garden, Hokuto and Larg lounged, enjoying the sunshine and ever present sakura blossoms. She chatted casually with Soel, Sakura and Syaoran through Larg's jewel, sharing all the gossip she had learned and helpfully suggesting some fashion tips. Though, admittedly, most of the conversation was over Syaoran and Sakura's heads, and what they did understand caused them to blush quite brilliantly, Sakura even fainted once, at the idea of Fuuma and Kamui going all out on the roof of Yuuko's houes after a couple of cups of underage sake.

Yuuko quickly assessed her victims. Hisui and Kokuyo were released on the grounds of no one knew how an angeland a demon could actually have sex and it didn't really apply to anyone else in the room. Shuichirou and Yasha were allowed to use the library while Kohaku and Ashura remained to be... educated on human anatomy. However, Saiga and Kakei, being the only human couple to have completed the love act were to remain in the room as mentors, answering any questions the curious and virile young men had about... sex. While the mentors took care of the innocent couples, Yuuko and Tomoyo would hold private sessions with couples or, depending on the need, with individuals.

First to be privately informed were Touya and Yukito. Yuuko escorted the nervous pair to the room she used to see customers and quickly saw them seated and served some tea to smooth the whole experience. Raising her eyebrow delicately, Yuuko observed one of the longest standing canon couples in the known universes and wondered, frankly...

"What's been stopping you boys?"

Touya grunted angrily as white enveloped Yukito's form and Yue spilled forth, disgust pouring from his eyes as he floated above the table. Yuuko smiled at Clow's creation fondly, hardly noticing the death glare she was receiving.

"Believe me, it's not for lack of trying." Touya growled, earning himself a smack on the back of his head with an over-sized ponytail.

'You think I'm gonna let some puny human feel me up?" Yue shrieked unbecomingly.

Yuuko smiled. "Technically, it's not you he's..."

"Shut up! Of course it's me! It's like someone coming up to you and making out with your... your... House! Or something..." Yue trailed off after not being able to find a suitable simile.

Touya crossed his arms in annoyance, then looked expectantly at the Dimensional Witch, who, for her credit, looked sympathetically back.

Eventually, Touya broke through the icy silence. "How can anyone expect me to consummate my love for my soul mate if I keep getting cock-blocked by this jerk? It's getting frustrating."

"I've thought of the appropriate simile!" Yue jumped up from his sulk on the floor with a look of triumph on his angular face. "It's like someone molesting you while you're asleep."

Yuuko snorted a little, not quite believing the conversation she was having with one of Clow's most successful creations. Tomoyo quietly entered the room and placed a small plate of biscuits on the table, carefully avoiding Yue's fully erect wings as she did so.

"If I may so bold as to ask, Yue-san, perhaps there is something else stopping you from consenting to your alternate personality's loving relationship?" Tomoyo asked demurely as she took a seat next to Yuuko, also quietly apologising for her lateness.

Yue said nothing, but glared at various spots around the room, jerking his wings anxiously ever now and then. Touya raised an eyebrow at the intuative young lady before him and waited for whatever observed gem she had to unveil.

"Perhaps... Yue-san... Instead of the feeling of violation you say you have, it is instead one of loss, or one of being deprived of something. Perhaps, something akin to jealousy?" Tomoyo questioned as she poured tea into Yuuko's cup and then into her own.

Yue sputtered in agitation, silver brows crashing together and blue eyes flashing as Tomoyo hit the reality of his objections on the head. A single tear rolled itself down his flawless cheek.

Touya faceplamed.

"You mean you're jealous of Yuki? You mean this entire time you have been interrupting some of Yuki and I's most intimate moments at the least favourable moments because you're jealous?" By the end of his short tirade, Touya was on his feet and was clenching and unclenching his fists as he hunched his shoulders over.

Another tear slid down Yue's face, catching the sunlight as it dripped onto the table. Tomoyo helpfully handed him her lacy hankerchief and Yuuko swept around the table to embrace the poor Moon Guardian.

Yue stiffened in her embrace, but he knew that if anyone could empathise with him, it was Yuuko.

"I miss him. I miss Clow. They're so alike, he and Touya. It make things so much worse, only being able to half feel him. I can't stand it when they touch, it's too much like him..." Yue trailed off as he sobbed into Yuuko's undoubtedly expensive kimono. Yuuko lay her hand on his head and rubbed comforting circles on the guardian's back as he wept for his master, and if you had have blinked, you would have missed the single, shining tear that ran down Yuuko's cheek.

"I know. It's okay. He's gone, we remain for so long. I'm going to grant you a wish Yue, but you have to pay me something back."

"I know about the payments, what would be worth what I wish for?"

"Your earring. And a lock of your hair."

"I accept."

Magic flowed through the room, causing everyone's hair float mysteriously, then return to it's previous, unruffled position. White light glowed around Yue and Yuki stepped out of the wings, disoriented for a moment, but he scent of sweet tea and biscuits quickly brought him back to reality and the smiled at the world in general as he took a seat next to where Touya was standing and began to snack. Touya glared suspiciously at Yuuko, who casually took her seat and sipped her tea. Tomoyo smiled kindly at Touya and motioned for him to sit, which he did.

She began to explain in her sweet and even voice. "Yuuko has lessened Yue's awareness of Yukito-san's presence. Just as Yukito-san cannot really feel Yue is there, now Yue cannot really feel Yukito-san. Instead it is like he is asleep, and Yuuko has been so kind as to let him dream of his past and his master. He should not appear to anyone unless there is danger or he is called by name. I hope this helps your delicate situtation." She chuckled charmingly and mentally ran through the camera positions around the rooms where Touya and Yukito were staying.

Yuki smiled obligingly at the two dark-haired women sitting across from then, and then turned to Touya, who wore a face of complete relief. They grasped hands and rose together as one, then bowed as one, thanking the ladies for their assistance with all their hearts. They couldn't look from each others' eyes as they exited the room with instructions to send in Kohaku and Ashura next.

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I got a little serious towards the end, I would apologise for the third time this chapter, but Touya and Yuki are my favourites and I feel very seriously about them, so I'm quite happy with this one :3

I got the idea for Yue stopping Touya from doing anything fun is from a story I read about Chikahito meeting other CLAMP characters. My thanks and credit to the author who wrote that story, I hope I don't offend them by borrowing this little gem, and also by not remembering the title of their story... ^^;

Goodnight everybody! I'm happy to hear your comments on this one. I like it quite well. Any lewd suggestions for Saiga and Kakei's advice is also welcome. As well as plotlines. I've lost all mine...

Support Gay Marriage YAY! 3 Love for everyones. I wonder if Yuuko could marry someone in her shop...? Like a ship's Captain can marry people at sea...


	9. Is this really education?

Okay, no excuses apart from laziness. And lack of storyline. I though the sex ed thing would be great, but I've painted myself into a corner here! This is a hard story to write! My wit can only work so hard okay?  
>Anyway, this is short, but full of fun. Hope you like it~! Waaaiiiiii~!<p>

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Kohaku down looked nervously at the small... person? Walking along the hallway with him. Although, because it seemed that everyone else staying at Yuuko's was male, Kohaku decided to attach the male pronoun to the cute child-like creature, just as others called Kohaku 'him'.  
>Ashura didn't look twice at the floating angel next to him, he'd seen weirder, that's for sure. He wasn't exactly sure why he had been separated from Yasha, and being away from the strong arms of his protector distressed him a little, but he tried very hard not to let it show as the unlikely pair began their 'sex education'.<p>

While Kohaku and Ashura made their way, slowly, to Yuuko's interrogation room, she and Tomoyo had been busy preparing some interactive models for their innocent victims.

For the majority of the lesson Kohaku was adorably embarrassed by the enthusiasm with which her teachers demonstrated the various things one could do with a penis.

Ashura's dark side had emerged early in the lesson and proved to be just as, if not more, sexually creative than Tomoyo and Yuuko put together. And even though man sex wasn't really Tomoyo's area, she was a keen admirer of yaoi fanfiction and so, reliably informed. No one knew how Yuuko knew what she did, but they had all decided not to question her disturbingly broad knowledge of male anatomy and the art of pleasure.

….

Meanwhile, Saiga and Kakei were eagerly displaying their skills as lovers to a room full of men. They had started by working together at the front of the room, but it soon became apparent that they weren't very good at controlling their emotions, so they split the room into two groups. Kakei took the semes, Saiga the ukes.

Kakei took a deep breath as he tried not to be overcome by the amount of sheer manliness in front of him, and he managed to gain control of himself enough to give a short lecture on 'How to be Gentle: Stopping the accidental breaking of limbs."

Saiga, on the other side of the room, leered openly at the unruly bunch of beautiful men in front of him, giving an extra sleazy wink to Kazahaya, who tried to run, but was stopped by an eager Fai. Saiga was a little put off by the enthusiasm of the blue-eyed mage, who kept of asking if size really mattered and whether or not he should do Pilates.

Rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses he decided to just give a short talk on anatomy, but quickly abandoned that when two of his pupils fainted and a third started foaming at the mouth. He shot a desperate look across the room at Kakei, who seemed to be doing quite well with his group. He had started an exercise in which he was getting them to stoke each other's' faces, without breaking bones, drawing blood, or trying to lick tears. Kakei's main problem was trying to stop Kurogane from punching anyone who tried to touch him…

It was probably a mistake to pair him up with Seishiro…

Saiga fell back to Plan B. Reaching into the depths of his coat he pulled out several short novels, all written by the local erotic author Tomoaki. He had received them from his good friend, who also happened to be Tomoaki's bodyguard and long term lover, Masaya. Saiga had found them quite educational in the early days of his relationship with Kakei, though the one with the bears hadn't really done anything for him.

Fai eagerly seized the slim book and began reading aloud, as if to kindergarten kids. Subaru immediately sat up from where he had fainted on the floor next to Kazahaya's semi-conscious body and stared adoringly up at Fai; Watanuki wiped the foam from his mouth and allowed himself to be drawn into the story. All the boys began admiring Fai's confidence and pretty reading voice.

However.

Saiga had to admire Fai's ability to keep a straight face, especially since Tomo-kun had been particularly experimental in the book he was reading from.

The horrified and disbelieving noises coming from the other side of the room drew the attention of the semes and Kakei quickly called an end to the activity.

They had moved on to 'How to press your lover up against a wall: No glass needed."

Rikuo and Doumeki shared a concerned look as they noticed Kazahaya lying as if dead on the floor and Watanuki's arms flailing around maniacally as the foamed violently at the mouth.

Seishiro smirked as he watched Subaru's face get redder and redder and redder….

Fuuma didn't really know what was going on over there, but when he winked at Kamui from across the room, he wasn't exactly expecting to be blasted in the face by purple lightning whilst Kamui shouted "DON'T EVER LOOK AT ME AGAIN YOU FILTHY SEME PERVERT KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY FRAGILE AND SENSITIVE BODY! AHHHHHHHHH!"

Gingetsu moved stealthily and swiftly removed himself and Ran from the danger zone.

Kurogane was the last to catch on, but when he heard Fai's very convincing rendition of the character he was reading…

"Oh yeah, you're so big! Give it to me now! I've been waiting so long for the mome-…"

*insert own suitably sexual sound effects: eg: panting, groaning, crying out in ecstasy…*

He was cut off as Kurogane knocked the book from Fai's hands and pinned him to the floor, breathing heavily in an effort not to strangle him right there.

"Oooo, Kuro-chu likes it when I tell stories~!"

Kurogane roared in response.

"Maybe you should read one of these books Kuro-sem, you don't want to be inexperienced for our first time do you~?"

Saiga smothered a smirk as the remaining, conscious ukes all evacuated the room as Fai somehow escaped Kurogane's vice-like grip and recovered the book, then began running about the room, making some very provocative noises while Kurogane chased him with the most murderous/lustful look in his eyes.

Fujitaka was unsure as to what he should do. Kurogane had lost control completely and Fai was still pushing him further over the edge of blind-rage. Saiga and Kakei swaggered out of the room, arms wrapped around each other. As they passed Fujitaka they simply shook their heads and walked away. Checking that the room was empty apart from Fai and Kurogane, Fujitaka closed the door quietly and retreated to the kitchen where he returned to bleaching every flat surface, just in case Saiga and Kakei had spent some time in there…

Hokuto had said goodbye to Sakura and Syaoran and returned to the observation room to check up on the boys. She was delighted to note that while the room was beyond repair, Fai and Kurogane had stopped running around and were violently making out on the floor.

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Ridiculous.  
>I think Watanuki is my favourite character. Who's yours?<br>Did you notice Tomoaki and Masaya from Suki? I forgot them, but they've earned an honorable mention. ILYs.  
>If you have any crazy ideas for me please share? I'm dying here. The only thing I've got going on this story is some sort of Anger Management thing, but I don't know where it's going….<br>Sorry guys, this story is on the endangered list….  
>If you're keen for more like this, please check out my other stories, I promise you'll like them.<p>

Sooooorrrryyyyyyyyy! Bye.


	10. Anger Management

Okay okay okay…. I have no excuses, this has been sitting in my drafts box for nearly a year. Luckily it doesn't contain too much Hisui and Kokuyo because THANKS CLAMP for dropping that bombshell on me while I'm trying to write a _quality _story here. So yeah let's just say they've gone off on a happy adventure and left us with just Saiga and Kakei.  
>Now I'm trying to make myself write a little more regularly, get back into the swing of actually typing, so this chapter is technically unfinished but it's resolved it's just so I have somewhere to go yaknow?<p>

So yes, things start off pretty good but then I fall back into fluff and some pretty nice DouWata cutsey-ness so yeah I could apologise for that but I'm not sorry.

I'm just gonna let you get on with reading okay bye.

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Kazahaya could not believe this was happening. He stared across the room into the eyes of an equally frustrated Watanuki, who was beginning to foam at the mouth a little. He dared not look to his left at the ticking time bomb that was Kurogane, nor to his right where Kamui was slowly losing patience. Once again Kazahaya attempted loosening the straps which held him to the chair he had been lured to earlier, when his weakness for kittens had been thoroughly taken advantage of. He knew he had no hope of escaping, if they could hold down Kurogane's brute strength and Kamui's purple lightning couldn't break through then, realistically, he and Watanuki had no hope of escape.

Without a sound Fujitaka, Touya, Saiga and Hokuto entered the room, slinking silently around the chairs to which their captives were bound and began assembling various items. Watanuki's keen eye soon picked up on them, and Kazahaya's animal instinct was on them at about the same time. Following Kazahaya's line of sight, Kurogane saw Hokuto begin sorting through a chest that looked suspiciously full of costumes. He began to thrash about in a most violent way, cursing and shaking in a most unflattering way. The three other boys turned to look at the full grown man throwing a tantrum with pity and fear in their eyes, and even Fujitaka was embarrassed for him.

Tomoyo, after seeing that the remaining guests were comfortable in the miniature movie theatre she had set up, where a marathon of Cardcaptor Sakura was playing, swiftly and efficiently set up her multiple cameras and assisted Fujitaka and Hokuto with assembling of equipment, further enraging Kurogane, annoying Kamui, intriguing Kazahaya and horrifying Watanuki.

Once the preparation appeared to have completed, Larg joined Tomoyo, Fujitaka and Hokuto at one end of the room and awaited the arrival of the therapist. AKA Yuuko.

When the said therapist finally entered the room, though not until Kurogane had stopped yelling profanities and the crackle of magic had subsided from Kamui, it was with great flourish and grandeur. She wore a daringly low cut gray dress, and though the tight-fitting nature of her therapist outfit was lost on her guests it caused Fujitaka to cough and blush a little in horror and admiration and Tomoyo was thoroughly impressed. A pair of useless, yet fetching, half-moon glasses rested on the end of her nose as she consulted a clipboard, carefully ignoring the pregnant silence which greeted her.

Yuuko began a short introduction to the day's purpose, but as soon as the words "Anger Management" and "Male Bonding" passed her lips there was general and vehement protest.

"BONDAGE?!" Screamed Watanuki, horrified to imagine the depraved things Yuuko had prepared for her hapless guests. Yuuko smiled patiently (read threateningly) and repeated 'bonding', as in, get to know one another better. The four males sighed in relief.

That relief however was short-lived as Yuuko sashayed her way to the center of the room and repeated her intention. "Anger. Management."

Kurogane tried to convince everyone that because of his ninja training he couldn't have any anger issues, as he was in such tight control of his actions, but the throbbing vein in his forehead wasn't fooling anyone.

Kamui actually screamed. He threw his head backwards and let out a long howl of despair and rage and Tomoyo was glad she had the foresight to soundproof the room.

Watanuki began yelling various threats at Yuuko, occasionally bringing Doumeki into it and offering him as his replacement. If his arms hadn't been tied down, they would have been at full flail.

Kazahaya was transfixed by the scene in front of him and didn't quite understand why everyone was so upset. He almost wished someone would explain it to him, but then again, he didn't want to feel the frustration that the others so obviously were.

"Now, you're all here due to the, ahem, sensitivity you have when it comes to your sexuality." Yuuko said, a sly grin on her face. She held her hand up to the quartet, magically stifling any new objections and allowing the session to continue at a reasonable pace.

By now, Kurogane was quite red in the face, so Yuuko turned away and faced her favourite employee.

"Watanuki." She practically purred, sending shivers of fear through everyone in the room, including Tomoyo, though her shivers were a little different...

"We shall start with a little word association to see if we can discover a root for your inherent denial of your own homosexuality."

Watanuki choked on his own spit a little as Kurogane grunted disapprovingly and Kamui outright laughed at Watanuki's misfortune, not registering that they were all in the same boat. Kazahaya glanced about the room, still not quite understanding what was going on.

"Let's begin. First word, 'school'"

"Himawari!" Yuuko frowned at her slave's jubilant attitude.

"Next, food."

"Alcohol." Watanuki blurted out, regretting it instantly, realizing he spent way too much time around Yuuko.

"Work?"

"Slave-labor."

"Mokona."

"Bottomless-pit." Larg protested loudly at this answer, though no one disputed the assessment.

"Wish."

"Shop."

"Parents?"

Watanuki paused a little; "Gone."

"Doumeki."

"Greedy selfish freak with no manners and weird eyes that have no sooooooouuuuuuul!" Watanuki exploded un-prettily in his chair, spouting fluent profanities about a certain someone. Kazahaya reddened at some of the language used, and Kurogane grinned in familiarity at some of the names created. Kamui was pretending that none of this was happening and had begun chewing at the straps restraining his wrists.

After about a minute's worth of ranting Yuuko raised her hand and silenced the frothing boy, her mouth quirked with dissatisfaction.

"You have disappointed me Watanuki, I would have thought after all these years spent together that you would realize the importance of soul mates. Or at least Clamp friends." Yuuko sniffed haughtily and turned to Kamui, who was glowering angrily up around the room from the vantage-point of his wrist.

"You lads all need to become more comfortable, not only with yourselves, but with your partners. So we have set up a special program so you can all get to know your partners, and yourselves, a little better." Yuuko announced in a loud and firm voice.

Ignoring the deadly glares she was receiving, she continued. "If any of you decide not to participate with the correct amount of enthusiasm or respect, you will be man handled (here she gestured grandly at Saiga, Touya and Fujitaka) I repeat, manhandled, into playing the part of Tomoyo's special model for a spectacular photo shoot! Tomoyo-chan, what kind of outfits would you like to photograph today?"

Tomoyo blushed a little and covered her mouth delicately before saying: "Well, Yuuko-san, I would very much like to start with mermaids. They are very popular at the moment and I have some very lovely wigs and I handcrafted some lovely shell-like tops for the purpose. I'm very excited to be working with some very handsome people today. I thank you for the opportunity, Yuuko-san."

As she spoke the men in the room all withdrew into themselves, silently wondering why their bad-luck had manifested this way, out of the corner of their eyes they saw Hokuto brandish one of the specially-crafted tops and a lipstick and they could hear the smirks that Saiga and Touya were no doubt wearing.

"I'm glad you're starting to take this seriously, boys. Any misconduct and my helpers will use whatever means necessary to have you take part in Tomoyo's scheme. I do so hate to disappoint a lovely girl such as herself." Yuuko's smile gleamed, almost demonically as she spoke, ending her ultimatum with a sharp click of her fingers.

The doors flew open and Fai bounded in, followed by Fuuma, Doumeki and Rikuo, who sauntered in at a more relaxed pace.

Kurogane opened his mouth to yell but was cut off mid-breath as Fai launched himself across the room and made a seat of Kurogane's bound legs.

"Oh Kuro-nya~! Look at you all tied up like this, how terrible! Shall I free you Kuro-wan, is that what you want? Ohoho, have you got something in your pocket Kuro-chuu or are you just happy to see me?" Fai winked as he settled down on Kurogane's lap.

No sense could be made of Kurogane's protestations.

Fuuma had something of the look he had worn when he was 'Kamui' on his face, predatory, as he grabbed the back of Kamui's chair and dragged him towards the hall where empty rooms purpose-built for the anger management course awaited them. Kazahaya caught the look of panic in Kamui's eyes just before he was dragged out of sight. Rikuo smirked down at him as he loomed over the chair where he was seated.

"Would you like me to untie you? Or shall we see how uncooperative you can be before Tomoyo-san decides to make you a mermaid?"

Kazahaya's nostrils flared as he tried very hard not to abuse the tall boy in front of him. He had been in enough drag to know he didn't want to do it again, so he decided to try his best to cooperate. Rikuo took his time unbuckling him from the chair, looking for a rise, but Kazahaya was surprisingly well behaved.

Watanuki, however, was struggling a little more to try and keep his rage at a minimum. Doumeki hadn't said anything yet, he had simply nodded at Watanuki when he approached the chair, untied him, then started walking away, towards their dedicated room.

"Oi! Don't just leave me here! You could at least wait before you go walking off, you jerk!" Watanuki growled as he massaged his wrists and moved to follow Doumeki down the hall. Yuuko raised an eyebrow at his language, but decided to let it slide.

Fai initially refused to get off Kurogane's lap, causing the taller man's rage to increase exponentially until, much to Kurogane's horror, he was inducted into becoming a mermaid. Fai could barely contain his joy as Saiga and Touya lifted the whole chair into the air, including Fai, and marched them into the yard where a spectacular sight awaited them.

The previous afternoon some of the guests had been hard at work constructing a new addition to Yuuko's garden, a waterfall. There was even a new cherry-blossom tree nearby, in full bloom thanks to a certain someone, and it created a tranquil atmosphere that was hard to resist. (The atmosphere may also have had something to do with some magic someone may have used)

Kurogane found that his body was relaxing inexplicably, but his mind grew more and more agitated as he took in the horrifyingly contempt smile that Touya had on his face, and the luscious long black wig that Fujitaka was painstakingly brushing.

He was unbuckled from his chair, body unable to resist as Saiga lifted him singlehandedly onto a bench where Fai soon got to work, undressing and redressing his love as a mermaid. Kurogane's hand twitched as his pants were whipped off, the only sign that he was not pleased with his predicament, on the outside at least. On the inside his outrage knew no bounds. This was beyond any punishment he had ever received before. It was too much. As Hokuto approached with the shell-like bra, he blacked out.

Watanuki burst into the room Doumeki had just turned into and found himself looking at a familiar scene. Doumeki had seated himself on the deck, overlooking part of the garden, and had started eating a snack, pre-prepared by Fujitaka-san, and was pouring himself a cup of sake.

"Hey! It's barely even midday and you're drinking? And you're pouring it yourself? What are you an alcoholic?" Watanuki grumbled loudly as he grudgingly pried the bottle from Doumeki's hand and finished pouring the sake himself. "You could have at least waited for me to sit down, but what can I expect it's not like to have any manners, you buffoon." He continued, stopping only to taste the edamame.

Doumeki sipped the sake, looking across at Watanuki as he did, ignoring the wonderful view of the garden they had. Watanuki's complaining eventually ceased and the silence grew between them, but completely comfortable, at least not with Watanuki going out of his way to avoid looking at Doumeki but not altogether succeeding.

Doumeki sighed and turned away, looking out at the garden at last, but not really taking any of it in. Watanuki's eyes slowly calmed their wandering and settled on staring at the hand Doumeki was using to lean on as he sat, he wore the ring Watanuki had got him, the one with the concealed bow. He frowned a little at the sight, it seemed out of place on Doumeki's masculine hand, but he was glad it was there.

Doumeki noticed Watanuki's gaze concentrate itself and he turned once again to look at the boy beside him. Quietly, he placed the cup of sake he had barely touched onto the deck next to him, and then turned towards Watanuki, the soft movement startling the boy from his reverie but not enough to make him move away. He felt Doumeki's scrutiny as he determinedly looked down at his own hands, avoiding any possibility of eye-contact.

Doumeki moved slowly, patiently, not wanted to scare Watanuki or set him off on another rant, his left hand remained on the deck, still supporting his weight, but he reached across with his right and gently secured Watanuki's pointed chin in his firm grip, lightly pressuring him to look him in the eyes.

Watanuki's whole body froze as Doumeki's hand gripped his chin, he resisted the pressure of them for a moment, but, to his surprise, he found himself allowing his head to be turned until their mismatched eyes met with an almost audible click.

Doumeki's steady gaze held Watanuki's, waiting calmly for the smaller boy's panic to subside and for him to relax into the connection. His fingers didn't move from Watanuki's chin, but instead held a firmer grip, keeping him connected so that their eyes could do the talking.

For one brief, out-of-body moment, Watanuki found himself looking through Doumeki's eye and seeing himself from Doumeki's perspective. He saw no malice, no trickery or contempt. Instead, he looked, normal. Just, normal. He breathed in and returned to his own eyes, then relaxed. Doumeki's mouth twitched, almost into a smile, and his hand moved from Watanuki's chin to his cheek, holding his face securing and pressing his warm palm against the now flushed face.

For a moment they didn't move, trapped in each other's eyes and the revolution they had just shared, then Doumeki looked away, removed his hand and recovered his sake cup, downing the whole lot at once then thrusting it, empty, towards Watanuki. He didn't miss a beat.

"You JERK! How can you do that at a time like this?! You didn't even ask or at least grunt you can't just shove a cup in my face! You're so rude I don't know why I'm here wasting my time with you!" As he spoke he refilled Doumeki's cup and blushed as he noticed Doumeki smiling at him, contentedly. He placed the bottle back on the deck and leaned back on his hands, pointedly looking out into the garden.  
>He nearly jumped out of his skin as Doumeki's larger, warmer hand came to rest on top of his own, the wooden ring gently pressing onto his fingers as they sat together, the most comfortable they had been since they could remember.<p>

CLAMPCLAMPCLAMP

I dunno if I should've done a kiss. Maybe I should have…. Maybe next chapter. If there's any demand for it. SO yeah anyway, got a bit more serious towards the end whoops.

Anyway, sorry again for not doing ANYTHING like not even writing a drabble or anything but now there's this so you can thank uni for being back that's the only reason I'm here writing this I'm avoiding reading about foreign policy.

Who shall I do next? Kamui-Fuuma, Kazahaya-Rikuo or Fai-Kurogane?

Thanks babes.


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